The Second Year

Soon after Avery’s first birthday, my marital house went on the market (and sold in 1 day!), and we moved into my parents’ house. I LOVED my little house. But, although I was only 25 minutes from my home town, I hated the location of it. I felt very removed from my family, and as I have mentioned, I didn’t make many friends there. If I could have picked my house up and moved it up to Berwyn with me, I would have in a heartbeat!

But we moved into my parents’ house, and it was fine. Not ideal – it’s not easy to live in someone else’s house – but fine, and comfortable for me to be back in my home town, in the house in which I grew up. My parents had decided to spend most of their time in their mountain house for the duration of our stay at their house, which turned out to be a lot longer than any of us predicted! Avery and I spent the summer just hanging out – enjoying the summer, going to the Poconos when we could, going to the pool and the beach. It was great and I was trying to adjust from a year that had really taken the wind out of my sails! I casually looked for a job, and we really didn’t have too much structure.

Then, in November 2006, on the day that would have been my 5th anniversary (technically, it was – we weren’t divorced yet), my sister, Katie (my only sibling and best friend), saw a doctor for headaches and blurred vision she had been having for a few months. That day she was sent for an MRI, and it was discovered that she had a tumor in her sinus cavity, behind her right eye, which was pressing on her optic nerve. She was admitted to the hospital that night, and the following day the biopsy proved that the tumor was malignant. Our family was in shock, and immediately thrown into crisis mode. Katie had gone through a long, drawn out, and very painful divorce, and only a month before had gotten engaged to a really wonderful man. She has two kids who, at the time, were 10 and 7. We all thought her life had finally turned a corner to happiness.

In December, she was to have the tumor removed. She was told that there was an 80% chance that she would lose her eye, and much of the surrounding bone. We were also told that the surgery would take eight to twelve hours. In what turned out to be a five hour surgery, the doctors were able to successfully remove the tumor, and save Katie’s eye! It was a miracle, but it was only the beginning of a long and very difficult road. On December 22nd, she started 2+ months of daily chemo and radiation.

During this time, my parents were living with her most of the time. Not only was she a single mom, who needed help with her kids and household, she had to go to Jefferson Hospital, about an hour from her house, almost daily. This was not how my parents had anticipated spending these months, but luckily for all of us, they were both retired and available to do whatever needed to be done. It was very exhausting for them, and for my sister it turned out to be horrendous. There were days when my dad had to literally carry her down the stairs to the car to start her excruciating day once again. She lost weight, she lost much (but not all) of her hair, she had very little energy. She was angry, and she was scared, as were we all!

During this time I was at my parents’ house, about an hour away from my sister’s house, home with Avery, who was a year and a half old. There was little I could do to help – I was just barely succeeding at my own life at the time! It was an extremely stressful time for me, for Katie, and for my parents, to say the least!

At the end of it all, however, Katie was found to be cured! Not in remission, but actually cured of cancer. She still has frequent appointments with her team of doctors, and will have to be monitored probably forever, but over a year later, she is still cancer free. In October, 2007, she married Jose, on her 40th birthday! It was a beautiful celebration of life and love, involving their kids, his brother, and me and Avery. The whole day was lovely!

In November of 2007, Avery and I finally moved into our own place! Although I appreciated all that my parents did for us during those 16 long months, it is so great to have our own space. We are renting a carriage house about 3 miles from my parents’ house, in the town in which I grew up. It’s not huge, but it’s ours (for now) and it has everything we could need, including a yard where Avery and I can play, a back patio where I have a grill and some patio furniture, and a little garden (which I planted in the Spring, and is now horribly overgrown!).

This brings me up to the present – I promise future posts will not be so lengthy!